You Were Right, It’s Cheese

Hotels are funny places, where interesting things happen. Especially the bigger ones, the ones that have conventions and lots of visitors.

We’ve seen interesting things during a recent stay at the Holiday Inn By The Bay in Portland, Maine:

  • A yellow cube sits on the floor in the corner of the elevator all day. I claimed it was pineapple; my wife, cheese. Turns out it was cheese.
  • The hotel now has a fancy Keurig coffee machine. And instead of giving you individual packets of sweetener and non-dairy creamer, you get a single pouch, labeled “condiments” – filled with anything you might put in coffee. Who designed that?
  • U.S.A. Today gets discretely and indirectly added to your bill, but there is no longer a clear way to request non-delivery. If only I could get it on my Kindle.. Oh wait, I think I can! How did U.S.A. Today get this guaranteed subscriber base?
  • The largest indoor swimming pool in the metro area is not necessarily very large. Depends on the metro area, I guess.
  • High-speed wireless access can be pretty d*rned slow and cr*ppy, even when you have your backup Verizon MiFi with you.
  • Things like.. my favorite Lenovo netbook can suddenly become very temperamental and start refusing to ever go into standby mode. But I digress – this could have easily happened apart from the hotel.
  • You might meet a night manager who seems to have a past with a lot in common with your present, and who seems a little mixed about some of the excellent choices he seems to have made.
  • You might hear businessmen (I always imagine businessmen outside of New York to all be from the mid-west) complaining about how they didn’t end up on the registration sheet for any of today’s events.
  • You see Dominos delivering a pizza to your neighbor down the hall at midnight, and you wonder whether the terrible noise and whooping party from last year is going to happen again tonight.
  • A hotel manager might surprise you with a gesture.

So you see things, and you draw conclusions about what they mean or what they are. Some of you are right, but you will never know that.

In the case of the cheese in that center elevator, we’ve gotten to see it play-out to its smushy end. But I will always wonder why no one picked it up before it had to get smushed into the poor carpet. I’ll never know, I guess.