She says, “Can you get us ice-cream?”
I’m all like, “Yeah!” – ‘cuz I’m always up for some ice-cream. Although it’ll probably be Breyers, which is fine, just not my favorite.
“What kind do you want?” I ask.
“I thought we could split some Ben & Jerry’s.” And she gives me a list of four possible options, depending on what they have available at the grocery.
I’m thinking I don’t know how that’s gonna work, splitting it – I mean, maybe I would eat the ice-cream and she would play with the carton, something like that? But the cat will want the carton, so that doesn’t work.
I try to imagine a special Ben & Jerry’s pint-sized ice-cream cone, enough to serve one hungry Shannon with one satisfying pint of chunky gooey madness. My eyes drift into the distance, somewhere near the kitchen cupboard as I recall the day I finally read the package on a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, and chuckled at the nutritional information, which claimed a pint held four servings. That day, my flavor had been Americone Dream (the Stephen Colbert flavor), and after devouring all four servings I noticed I had eaten 200% of my saturated fat for the day, 80% of my cholesterol, and something like 8% of my fiber (from the cone chips, presumably). I felt sick afterwards, obviously.
No. She has other plans. We are going to split the ice-cream. Fine. Two servings apiece.
I’m at the store, and I know I have instructions to bring home a single pint. Of the four possible flavor options in my list, only three are really viable since one of them is chocolate based and that’s no good (Chocolate Fudge Brownie). The others (Americone Dream, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, and Mint Chocolate Cookie) all sound great to me! My mouth begins to water.
But there’s a problem. I haven’t shopped for Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream in quite a while (I use our local ice-cream shop). Those Vermont hippies have put out some NEW flavors, and some of them sound pretty interesting: Late Night Snack (complete with chocolate-covered potato chips), Cluster Fluff (not a fan of marshmallow fluff, but you gotta love the name) and some sort of Red Velvet concoction that actually has SWIRLS OF CREAM CHEESE ICING IN IT!
I think. I calculate the possible response if I come home with four delicious pints of wack-a-doo flavors. And then I step slowly away, with a mint of Mint Chocolate Cookie under my arm. I walk faster, I’ve got to get this pint home before it starts to melt at the edges. I’ll be back. Late Night Snack will have to wait.