Brownies Don’t Tailgate

I love brownies. They are awesome.

They taste great, with just the right amount of sweet, and the right amount of yummy-cakey. I’d like to see a peach cobbler or a creme brulee pull off that trick! They are sticky when you want them to be sticky, and nutty when you want them to be nutty.

But most important, brownies don’t tailgate.

They also don’t bump into you during a busy city commute, and they don’t hassle you to walk quicker down the stairs. Further, brownies are great because they don’t put their feet up on the seat in front of them and take off their shoes at the movie theater.

Nor would they ever dream of charging you a fee to check your bag or use the ATM, and it’s not just because they don’t need the money because they do need the money!

Also, brownies always hold the door for you, and they don’t fart (unlike octopuses…). They are “happy to help” and “cheerier than most”.

But I will always love brownies because they don’t tailgate, which means I can drive safely at highway speeds, surrounded by brownies, confident that if I ever needed to brake suddenly, I would not find myself covered in a big crash of mushed up brownies.


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