How a Tweet Cost Me Dinner

I have been known to lie when I tweet.

Like the time when I claimed I am Brian Boitano’s father:

Shannon is Brian Boitano’s father, but he hasn’t seen “The Boi” in many years.

And the time when I “implied” that I had recently discovered that bananas should be peeled before being eaten.

Other times, I have merely pointed out something that others do not notice – an unusual observation:

I have more whiskers than most people.

Who knew that my creative tweets might backfire one day?!?

While on a shopping expotition (sic) in NoHo, the West Village, and Chelsea last night, I saw an advertisement for “boneless chicken wings” which inspired a tweet:

I found a boneless wing in my chicken nuggets, so I figured I am going to need some hot sauce for that.

I then continued my shopping, in search of a portable tripod and a wireless cordless phone headset– little did I know that during those same moments my wife was at home, preparing a salad for our dinner, and monitoring my activities in real-time via my Twitter stream.

Well, shopping took much longer than expected, as I had to visit three Staples retail stores in search of my new phone.  And eventually my wife decided to eat what remained of the salad she had prepared, assuming that I had already had my dinner of chicken nuggets and/or boneless chicken wings.

I returned home late, tired, and hungry.  There was no dinner waiting.  Eek!

Maybe next time I will tweet one of my favorite jokes:

What does a cannibal get when he is late for dinner?  The cold shoulder.

P.S. My wife very rarely eats all of my salad.  Usually, it’s my pint of Ben & Jerry’s I need to watch out for.