I have been known to lie when I tweet.
Like the time when I claimed I am Brian Boitano’s father:
Shannon is Brian Boitano’s father, but he hasn’t seen “The Boi” in many years.
And the time when I “implied” that I had recently discovered that bananas should be peeled before being eaten.
Other times, I have merely pointed out something that others do not notice – an unusual observation:
I have more whiskers than most people.
Who knew that my creative tweets might backfire one day?!?
While on a shopping expotition (sic) in NoHo, the West Village, and Chelsea last night, I saw an advertisement for “boneless chicken wings” which inspired a tweet:
I found a boneless wing in my chicken nuggets, so I figured I am going to need some hot sauce for that.
I then continued my shopping, in search of a portable tripod and a wireless cordless phone headset– little did I know that during those same moments my wife was at home, preparing a salad for our dinner, and monitoring my activities in real-time via my Twitter stream.
Well, shopping took much longer than expected, as I had to visit three Staples retail stores in search of my new phone. And eventually my wife decided to eat what remained of the salad she had prepared, assuming that I had already had my dinner of chicken nuggets and/or boneless chicken wings.
I returned home late, tired, and hungry. There was no dinner waiting. Eek!
Maybe next time I will tweet one of my favorite jokes:
What does a cannibal get when he is late for dinner? The cold shoulder.
P.S. My wife very rarely eats all of my salad. Usually, it’s my pint of Ben & Jerry’s I need to watch out for.