Top 10 Alternatives to Traditional Horn-Honking

  1. Your face “freezes like that”.
  2. God hears Your honk, reaches down, moves offending car out of Your way.
  3. Pie in the face – HONK.
  4. You beep.  Puppies appear on hood of car, and clean windshield by licking, which doesn’t really work.
  5. Passenger airbag deploys as driver-side ejector seat activates.
  6. Boils appear on any hand that honks.
  7. Neil Peart plays a 7-minute drum solo based on an assortment of honking devices that you provide.
  8. The kids say “Dammit!” before you do.
  9. CPR works.  Resuscitated steering wheel stands up and walks away, leaving you speechless.
  10. Everybody around you is startled, stops, stares, makes you feel bad for subtracting from the Fabric of the Universe. šŸ™‚